Manifesto Colberto

Over on blogs.telegraph.co.uk I was asked to lay out Stephen Colbert's campaign manifesto. Honestly, if he's laid one out on the show I missed it so far - at least now that South Carolina is out of the mix. Still, I tried as best I could to represent the Colbert Nation in stunningly truthy fashion.

PLEASE, please visit www.stephencolbert08.com and leave any comments and especially criticisms you may have of this manifesto. Thank you, loyal and noble readers.

MANIFESTO COLBERTO

Stephen Colbert’s manifesto, though I cannot claim to speak it with any authority or permission, is thus:
America is no longer just a Nation Indivisible - It is a Nation Undeniable. Why can it not be denied? Because only the truth can be denied; but America no longer deals in such trivialities as the truth. We have become a Nation of Truthiness. We have become a Nation that transcends reality in favor of Wikiality. We are a Nation of triumphant eagles, soaring high above the brutish bears stuck to the terra firma of outdated ideals. We are no longer just A Nation. We are THE Nation. The Colbert Nation. United We Stand. Tread On Us Do Not. The Buck Stopped Here Already.

For clarification, I recommend conducting research at www.stephencolbert08.com

I NEED YOU, NATION, TO CONSTRUCTIVELY CRITICIZE THIS MANIFESTO.

Now tell us what you think. The winning suggestion, as decided by a panel of four webmasterful judges, wins a hand-inked scroll with the manifesto done in the calligraphic style of your choice. No fibbin’!

Miami Herald Thinks I'm Stephen Colbert

I worship the Miami Herald. I do. They run Carl Hiaasen. He is one of the many gods in my pantheon. But they aren't exactly, um, infallible.Case in point: In a recent political blog, Miami Herald staffers discussed Steohen Colbert's apparent withdrawl from the Presidential Race. In the article , they quote Colbert from what they describe as "his blog".

Only problem is, it's not his blog. It's MY blog, but if they think we could be the voice of Colbert, well hell, that's about as flattering as journalistic incompetence can get!

from Colbert pulls out of race, says it's time for "nation to heal"

Comedian Stephen Colbert pulled out of the presidential race on Monday, a decision that came after the South Carolina Democratic Party voted 13-3 to keep him off the primary ballot in his home state.

In a statement on his website, Colbert said "Although I lost by the slimmest margin in presidential election history—only 10 votes—I have chosen not to put the country through another agonizing Supreme Court battle. It is time for this nation to heal.”

“I want to say to my supporters, this is not over,” Colbert said. “While I may accept the decision of the Council, the fight goes on! The dream endures! … And I am going off the air until I can talk about this without weeping."

Posted by Gary Fineout at 06:47 AM on November 6, 2007

Let's hear it for professional journalism.